A Love For The Ages
by Pikelet184
Summary: Modern au: Katniss was expecting to find her best friend's birthday party in full swing - instead she finds him sitting in a quiet house, feeling alone and depressed. Can Katniss pull him out of it? And can the night bring forth unresolved feelings and secrets – despite their 15 year age difference.


This one shot was written for the Everlark birthday drabbles blog on tumblr. Specifically gifted to andthisisthewonder who requested an age gap story with Peeta being the older one. This was my first time visiting this trope and it was a lot of fun. Thank you to sponsormusings for beta-ing this story for me. Enjoy!

* * *

"Happy birthday old man!" Katniss jests with a grin as soon as the front door swings open with a loud creak.

Peeta's stocky figure stands immobile, outlined by the wooden door frame and shadowed by the dim porchlight. He meets her gaze nervously with a tight lipped smile, and she's surprised to see him dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a ratty, old t shirt that has the name _Mellark_ adorned across the front.

The invitation she'd received said to dress casual - but she didn't think it would be _this_ laid-back.

"Sorry I'm late," she says, smoothing back a few wisps of dark hair that have fallen out of her braid. "I just got back from a job - of course my boss wouldn't let me have today off. He can be a real jerk sometimes," she adds, curling her lips into a smirk.

"I couldn't agree with you more," he replies, his voice rough and uneven as he moves aside to let her through.

She steps over the threshold quickly, wanting to escape the cold night air that was cutting through her skin like a sharp and icy knife. Inside the entry, she's greeted with a welcome rise in temperature; the heat wafts through from the burning fireplace that's situated in the next room and settles around her like a thick and cosy blanket. She sighs in relief, taking off her useless threadbare coat that she knows she should just throw away and places it on her usual hook by the door.

Walking down the hallway, she makes her way towards the impressive entertaining and bar area that she knows is at the back of the two storey house - she's quite familiar with the dwelling's layout, considering her best friend loves to throw a good party and plays host regularly to all his family and friends. She stops in her tracks, however, when she finally notices the unexpected silence filling the house; there's no music, no laughter, no animated conversations - there's nothing. In fact the whole place is eerily quiet and draped in darkness - with the exception of wood crackling and light coming from the corner fireplace that's giving the living room a strange ambience. She hears his familiar heavy tread and a deep sigh fall from his lips when he stops behind her.

"Where's the party?" She asks, turning around to face him in confusion. "It's only 9.30pm. Did people leave already?"

"There was no party," he tells her simply, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I just had dinner with my brothers - you missed them by thirty minutes."

"But," she splutters out, looking around and wondering if this is some sort of mistake. "They were throwing you a party - Rye sent me an invitation on Facebook."

"I cancelled it," he states, walking past her to sit down on the soft fabric couch that faces the roaring fire. "I wasn't in the mood for a party."

"But…we were going to celebrate you reaching a milestone," she says, staring over at him with a puzzled expression. "You don't turn forty every day," she reminds him, walking over and sitting down next to him. Her body sinks into the luxurious plush cushions like she's floating on a cloud, until she's momentarily distracted by something digging into her upper thigh. Reaching a hand into her jeans pocket, she pulls out an envelope, sitting it on the coffee table in front of them.

"I just didn't want to make a big deal about it or anything," he tells her, turning his head to meet her gaze, his blue eyes looking bleak and downtrodden. After a beat and another heavy sigh, he reaches over to his left, grabbing a tall bottle that's sitting on the small side table. He pours a large amount of clear liquid into a glass tumbler, taking a long gulp and finishing it with a grimace.

Her eyes widen in alarm. Peeta's not a heavy drinker and the pungent smell drifting into the air assaults her nostrils, making her want to gag. She wouldn't be surprised if the alcohol in that bottle could strip your insides out in a matter of seconds.

With narrowed brows and her forehead creased with worry, she takes in his appearance more closely. Clearly something isn't right with him and she secretly berates herself for not noticing something was going on when she first arrived. This is completely out of character for him; he's never been one to dress in sweats and act like his dog's just died. His usual broad shoulders are now slackened, looking like they're being weighed down by a heavy burden. His usually styled blonde hair is ruffled and dishevelled, sticking up on all sides like he's been running his hands through it constantly. Normally he's so happy and confident, radiating a warm and friendly glow that has the ability to truly brighten anyone's day. It's one of the things Katniss grew to love about him after they'd first met; no matter how far she sometimes would get caught up in the darkness of her own mind, he always seemed to be able to draw her back to the light and show her that things could be good again. They've been friends for five years now and in that time she's never witnessed this type of behaviour from him before. "What's going on?" She asks him gently.

"Nothing – everything's fine," he answers casually, waving away her concerns. "I just told Rye I'd prefer to have a quiet dinner with them – no big deal."

Katniss purses her lips. "Hmm right…and let me guess, you made your own birthday dinner?"

Even under the orange hue and dancing shadows bobbing around the room from the fire, Peeta's pink cheeks are still noticeable as he looks down guiltily. He plays with his empty glass, determined to avoid her disapproving gaze. "I prefer my own cooking anyway," he defends. "The only things Rye and Bran are good for are grilled cheese sandwiches and microwave mac n cheese."

She's not entirely convinced with his reasoning on either the party or the dinner, but she doesn't want to start an argument with him. At least not today on his birthday. "Okay, if that's all it is then."

"It is - I'm fine, really, you don't need to worry about me," he tells her, sensing her apprehension. He reaches over to grasp her hand in his, and she feels a warm tingling sensation vibrate in the centre of her palm. This isn't the first time her body's experienced a reaction like this when he's innocently touched her. "I'm really glad you still came," he adds, his mouth curling into the first genuine smile of the night.

"Yeah well, you're lucky that I didn't check Facebook and see the party got cancelled - you know I barely tolerate social media," she laughs, before tilting her head to the side and staring past his shoulder pointedly. "So where did you get the liquor from?"

"Ahh, well, that would be a gift from my neighbor. I have no idea how he knew it was my birthday, but he dropped it off earlier," he tells her.

"And after that you decided to throw a party for one?"

"Something like that," he answers, staring down and rolling the glass in his hands.

"Well speaking of gifts – can I give you mine now?" She asks eagerly. It had taken her a long time to figure out what to get for him as he's always so thoughtful in his gift giving and she'd wanted to do the same - the pressure had been on to find the perfect gift to celebrate Peeta Mellark's 40th birthday.

Putting his glass down, he smiles, humouring her. "Alright, Everdeen, hand it over - what did you get me?"

She hands him a plain looking envelope.

"Well, it can't be the pony I asked for," he teases, scrutinising the package.

"Just open it," she lightly reprimands.

He rips open the envelope with a flourish and pulls out a colorful card. He doesn't see a second, smaller golden envelope fall onto the floor, as his eyes become fixated on the birthday card. On the front cover is a picture of an elderly man sitting in a rocking chair with the saying:

 _"_ _Don't let old age_

 _get you down._

 _It's too hard to get back up!"_

Katniss lets out a little laugh in amusement as she reads alongside him. She then turns her head to study his reaction and what she sees is not what she was expecting. There's no smile or any indication of humor twinkling back in his ocean blue eyes. Instead his face is cast in a dark shadow of sadness.

"Peeta –"

"It's funny," he murmurs. But he's not laughing, and instead looks wounded, like she's just kicked him.

"It's a joke – Peeta I…I didn't mean anything by it," she splutters, horrified at his reaction.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," he says, dropping the card and putting his head in his hands, his body oozing exasperation. "Argh! This is so stupid."

She stares back worriedly. "Okay, you really need to tell me what's going on – and _don't_ tell me you're fine."

At her request he reluctantly lifts his head, and a loud puff of air escapes his lungs. They sit in silence for a few moments, him staring off into space and her watching him like a hawk. The crackling of the fire in the background does nothing to soothe her anxiety. Just when she thinks he's not going to open up to her, he speaks, his voice coming out hoarse and broken. "I _hate_ that I'm forty."

She lets his surprising words sink in for a moment. She had no idea that Peeta felt this way about his age. He's never indicated or shown that he cares too much about getting older or wanting to hang onto his youth, so his confession feels like it's come straight out of left field. She's never been good with words and advice - that's Peeta's speciality - so she tries to make light of the situation. "Is this you having a midlife crisis? Are you going to go out tomorrow and buy a Ferrari with some bimbo with big boobs draped across the bonnet?"

He scoffs, rubbing his eyes. "I'm not having a midlife crisis - I'm being serious. I _hate_ that I'm forty and that I've achieved _nothing!_ And on top of that I _hate_ the fact that I now have to use a bloody cane to get around when the weather's bad because of my banged up knee," he states, his voice rising in anguish and getting more upset by the second.

"Where is this coming from?" she asks, shifting over to be closer to him, their legs now touching side by side. "Don't be so hard on yourself – you should be proud of what you've achieved so far in your life. You built your own business from scratch and it's a success because of you." She leans her head forward, silently pleading for him to look at her. "You also own a beautiful home that people are envious of and would give their right hand for. All of that is nothing to scoff about."

He chooses to avoid her gaze, but she knows he took everything in due to the tight line of his mouth and his jaw locking like it's made of smooth steel.

"Where is the happy and confident Peeta Mellark I saw yesterday? Where's my best friend?"

"He's just turned forty and he's not happy," he snaps back sarcastically, before he closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame. "I'm sorry Katniss, I know I'm being an ass and you're only trying to help, but you don't need to stay – you're young and it's Friday night – go out and have some fun and just leave me alone to wallow in my misery." He reaches over to pick up the bottle of liquor again.

"No!" She yells, without thinking and crawls into his lap, snatching the bottle from his grasp and putting it behind her back so it's out of reach. "I'm not going to let you drink yourself into oblivion. That's not what friends do."

It's not until he shifts under her, his eyes glowing in a state of shock and something else that she can't quite put her finger on, that she realises she's straddling him. Her body stiffens for a moment out of fear and uncertainty, but then the heat and scent of his body relaxes her, tempting her to come closer. His presence is everywhere; below, above, around, and it's making her skin tingle all over. He continues staring at her intently, placing his calloused hands tentatively on her hips, the roughness of his fingers heating up a strip of skin where her shirt has ridden up, but he doesn't pull her closer like she secretly wishes he would; instead he starts lifting her off him and the act is enough to bring her crashing back down to reality. Embarrassment floods her veins and she feels heat rising up the back of her neck as she quickly tries to stand up and balance on her own two feet with as much poise as she can muster.

Without a word, she stares down at the bottle that's still gripped tightly in her hand and walks over to the open plan kitchen, tipping the vile substance down the sink. She shakes her head, trying to forget what just happened; she doesn't want Peeta to see how much he's affected her.

She'd already confessed to herself a year ago that she had feelings beyond friendship for him, but her brain had squashed the revelation pretty quickly, reminding her that it wasn't appropriate. There are so many reasons why it would never work between them – Peeta not being interested being the biggest one. She sneaks a peek his way, catching the back of his head; she can't see his facial expressions but he still hasn't moved an inch from his spot on the couch. It was going to be so awkward now. _Why did I have to go and crawl all over him? I should go – he wants to be left alone anyway._

She hesitantly begins to walk back over to him, and her brain is running a mile a minute trying to think of a reasonable excuse to leave, when a piece of paper on the side table catches her eye from the light of the fire. Picking it up, she notices it's some kind of list in Peeta's messy scrawl.

 _Things to achieve before my 41_ _st_ _Birthday_

"What's this?" She blurts out, forgetting for a moment she was planning on leaving.

He turns to her, a dazed expression on his face, and his eyes glassy, but they quickly clear and widen in alarm as he tries to reach over and grab the list from her grip. She's too fast however and moves it out of his reach. He stands up and tries to take it again, to no avail. "It's nothing – just something I was working on before you got here."

Her eyes scan down the list taking in each entry.

After a few moments of uneasy silence he breaks. "I know you probably think I'm overreacting, but…I just thought I would have… _more_ by now…you know?"

"Oh, Peeta," she says meeting his gaze and what she sees hurts her heart. "There's nothing wrong with having goals - especially if you think they'll make you happy. And some of these are quite achievable, but some…well, I would probably re-work them."

"What?! Why? - What's wrong with them?"

She bites her lower lip with apprehension as she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. "Well you've got listed

 _'_ _Climb Mount Victor'._

That's the highest peak in the country," she continues. "And you're afraid of heights…plus your knee," she reminds him gently.

He purses his lips and nods in thought. "Yeah, you're right – that's not very realistic. I just thought I should try and conquer that fear."

"And you still can," she states, encouragingly. "But instead how about you use a hot air balloon ride or go on a roller coaster?"

He bobs his head. "Those are good suggestions…thanks." He pauses, his face turning nervous and hesitant. "So umm…what do you think of the others?"

"Well," she begins, leaning down to click on the table lamp, before manoeuvring past him to sit back down on the couch. He joins her after a moment. "These are the ones I think you can do – although some you may need longer than a year."

 _'_ _Visit the Capitol.'_ "That's easy," she says with a knowing smile.

 _'_ _Ask Katniss to teach me to shoot a bow and arrow.'_ "Consider it done."

 _'_ _Learn French'._ "Well…to be fluent I'd say you'll need longer than a year."

 _'_ _Celebrate Christmas on a tropical island.'_ "And why would you want to do that?" She asks playfully. "Christmas in this town is great – where else can you get stranded in your house for a week thanks to a snow storm? Or witness a high percentage of people in this town get frostbite? You're going to miss out on all that drama and excitement."

He lets out a throaty chuckle in response.

 _'_ _Attend a cooking class in France.'_ "Okay, I'm beginning to sense a French theme going on here…"

 _'_ _Get a tattoo.'_ She looks up incredulously. "Since when have you _ever_ wanted to get a tattoo?"

"Hey, how do you know I don't already have one?" He chides. "This could be about getting another one."

She rolls her eyes. "I know you haven't because you have a thing about needles. Plus I've seen you almost naked and there was definitely no signs of any ink."

His eyes widen in surprise. "When did you see me _almost_ naked?"

Her face heats up to a violent shade of crimson. _Crap._ She made a deal with herself that she'd never bring that day up or think about that scene ever again. Well the latter is a lie, she thinks about it _a lot,_ especially when she lies awake in bed at night. "I umm…a couple of months ago - I came to see you about something and your office door wasn't completely closed, and you'd been…getting changed."

"Oh," he says, before a worried look creeps across his face. "I'm sorry about that – I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable."

 _Uncomfortable?!_ The only thing that had made her uncomfortable had been having to walk around in soaked panties for the rest of the day because she'd been so turned on.

At 25 years old she hasn't had much experience with men - or men's bodies - and she's only been out on a handful of dates. The men she'd met (all blind dates set up by her sister, Prim) were never her type and she learnt very quickly that a relationship with them wouldn't work. Not when the perfect man, who she had an undeniable connection with, was already here and such a large presence in her life. It wasn't until she realised her feelings for Peeta were more than just friendship that something inside her began to stir. It had been torture being around him at first, knowing she couldn't say anything and knowing he didn't feel the same way. But their friendship meant the world to her and she wasn't going to ruin it with her untold feelings of unrequited love. So she'd buried them deep, until they materialised into an invisible second skin, and resonated over her body like a shield. It was only on the odd occasion that they managed to rise and surface to see the light of day.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," she answers, trying to act nonchalant. "I didn't see - you know your… _thing_."

A boisterous laugh racks his body and it's music to her ears. "You didn't see my… _thing?_ " He asks drolly. "Well okay, that's good to know – I guess."

She shakes her head, now feeling embarrassed about her childish reply. _Thing?! Eurgh._ It really wasn't the best word to use to describe the male genitalia, but she didn't think it was appropriate to come out and call it a 'dick' or a 'cock' to her best friend's face, especially when it was _his_ junk they were discussing! With a sigh she decides she needs to get back on task, otherwise she thinks her mind is going to be haunted be imaginary Peeta penises for the rest of the night. "Alright what's next on your list?"

She looks back down to skim, hoping he'll follow her lead.

 _'_ _Drink a $500 bottle of champagne.'_

 _'_ _Explore the cave at Arena Park.'_

 _'_ _Learn to ride a motorbike.'_

 _'_ _Get back into painting.'_

They all seem pretty reasonable until she gets down to the second last one and she has to stop and blink a few times, making sure what she's read is correct. She arranges her expression so it looks unaffected, but on the inside her heart is beating rapidly against her chest and a fluttering in her belly is dancing around in excitement.

 _'_ _Go nude on a nudist beach.'_

"Um – is this really a goal you want to achieve?"

He looks over to her, his lips curling into a cheeky grin. "Yeah, why not? I've always been curious and you only get to live once right? Besides, I don't care if anyone sees me."

"Well um…" her voice tapers off, and she's not sure what else to say. She suddenly has the overwhelming need to lick her lips. "I guess…good luck with that one," she replies, her charade crumbling right before her eyes and landing in a pile by her feet. She feels her olive skin start to flush and glisten with sweat and she knows it has nothing to do with the large fire radiating the room.

He shakes his head, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he takes her in. "You really are pure, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not!" She defends with a scowl, but deep down she knows he's right. She is pure – more than he could possible realise, but she's not about to come out and rightfully agree with him - especially not when she feels her dignity has taken a whack.

"I'm not having a go at you, I swear," he tells her quickly, placing his hand on her knee reassuringly. "I'm not judging…in fact," he lowers his voice, his tone suddenly reverent. "To me, you're perfect."

The way he's looking down at her so intently confuses her. His pupils are dilated and his irises look like every shade of blue you can find under the sun – each tone mixing and swirling around in the depths like he's trying to pull her into a trance.

 _Why is he looking at me like that?_ She doesn't want to read too much into it and get her hopes up because she knows the notion is ridiculous, so instead she blinks a couple of times and breaks the spell between them. Lowering her gaze back down to the list, she shrugs her braid off her shoulder hastily, and continues on like nothing had happened. "Well I'm going to judge you," she tells him pointedly, hoping it'll bring him back to the list and their friendly banter. "Because what the hell is this? _'Become a contestant on Caesar Flickerman's game show.'?_ "Are you serious? You really want to be a part of that ridiculous and outdated hoopla?"

He has the decency to look down to the floor sheepishly. "I don't know, my brothers and I grew up watching it - I thought it could be fun."

She shakes her head. " _Fun_ is not the word I would use to describe it…" she trails off as she looks over the list one last time to make sure she hasn't missed anything. She's always been impressed by Peeta's strength and determination but there was certainly a lot here to achieve in just a year. Just thinking about where he should start is giving her a headache and causes her to pause in deep thought.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Nothing," she replies. "I know you can do all of this, it's just…"

"What?" He looks at her carefully, like he's trying to read her thoughts. "You think this is stupid? That I'm behaving like an idiot and losing my mind?"

"No! Of course not. You know me better than that," she reprimands, looking slightly offended. Guilt fills his eyes and he nods his head in reply – a silent apology for his wrongful assumption. "I know you can achieve anything you set your mind to," she tells him. "But it's just a lot to do…I think it needs to be simpler."

"How?" He asks with guarded curiosity.

"Well think about it," she twists her body around so she's directly facing him, their knees touching and bumping together. "If you had to choose _one_ thing that you wanted in your life - something that would make you happy _now_. What would it be?"

He stares at her for a moment in quiet contemplation. Katniss swears his eyes travel all over her face, drinking her in before they land on her mouth. His eyes close briefly and his face scrunches up like he's in pain. When he opens them back up again they have softened but now expresses hopelessness and despair. "I want to be with someone. Someone I can grow old with," he declares softly.

His voice hangs low and something inside her breaks, causing the back of her eyes to water and burn. She's usually not one to show emotions as she hates the feeling of being weak, but something resonates inside her and her heart aches for him.

"I'm so tired Katniss – tired of being alone."

And with those words her hard shell shatters into a thousand pieces and she reaches over to pull him into a hug. Her arms wind around his neck and he feels so good against her body. His warm, hard chest pressing into her makes her feel safe and secure, even though she's the one who should be comforting him. His strong and steady arms wrap tightly around her waist like they're made of vines and his scent is so intoxicating that Katniss can't help letting out a blissful sigh as she tucks her head into the crook of his neck. She doesn't want to ruin the moment or their friendship, but just a second she surrenders to the feeling, and to the man she secretly loves, and imagines the possibilities.

The illusion is short lived, however, when her mind goes back and replays what he said. _"I want to be with someone – someone I can grow old with."_ It causes a sharp pain to hammer consistently inside her chest, like each and every hit reminds her of his wishes over and over again. This suffering reminds her of the time just a few months ago, when she'd stumbled across him out on a date with a beautiful blonde who couldn't keep her perfectly manicured hands off him. Luckily her worries were short lived - when she'd questioned him casually about it the next day, he'd told her his brother had set him up and that he wouldn't be seeing her again.

In retrospect her poor, delicate heart has been quite lucky. In the time she's known him, he's only been out on a handful of casual dates, each never amounting to anything. She knows he was in three serious relationships in his twenties and early thirties, but he never wanted to talk about them, just replying that in the end they weren't the one.

She hates that he's now feeling miserable and alone - even though he has his brothers and a small but loyal number of close friends. So taking a deep breath, she pulls away from him, her heart aching with sadness at what she's about to tell him - but he's her best friend and she refuses to watch him suffer any longer. "I'll help you find someone," she offers quietly.

He looks at her sadly for a moment. "But that's just it – I've already found someone."

Her mouth slightly opens in shock. _What?!_ _Why hasn't he mentioned this before?!_

"And every day I fall more and more in love with her."

 _Oh god._ She thinks it would hurt less if he went into the kitchen, got a knife and stabbed her in the heart.

"I've known her for years, but she doesn't know how I feel," he continues, watching her closely. But Katniss keeps her face passive, trying not to draw attention to the fact that on the inside she's screaming - raging a war at herself, and at him, and at the woman who unknowingly holds his fragile heart in her hands.

"I don't think she's ever thought about me in that way because…there's an age difference and I don't want to freak her out…" his voice trails off softly.

She speaks, finally having the confidence that her voice won't break due to the tight, twisting feeling in her chest. "Age doesn't mean a thing to a lot of people, Peeta. If you care deeply about someone – it doesn't become a factor." She knows this from personal experience - he's fifteen years her senior, but it's never bothered her, not when it comes to their friendship or to a potential relationship with him. They have so much in common, they complement each other's personalities perfectly and get along like a house on fire. He's been a part of her ever since he embedded himself into her life…and her heart.

He still looks unsure, like he's battling something inside himself. A light sheen of sweat graces his brow and he wipes it away hastily. His fingers tap on his knees nervously.

"As long as she's of legal age, I don't see a problem," she continues, trying to crack a joke to hide her pain. "You deserve all the good things that life has to offer. You're a good person and you deserve to be happy. So my advice is - take a chance and be brave. Next time you see this woman, tell her how you feel, okay?"

He smiles tentatively, and she sees a small twinkle appear in his eye when he replies. "Okay." He reaches over to grasp her hand, and she's surprised when he brings it to his lips for a kiss. He's never done that kind of intimate gesture before, but her mind quickly gauges that he's just expressing his gratitude for her sound advice and friendship. But then her body suddenly stills and a breath gets caught in the back of her throat when she feels his mouth unexpectedly continue to splay light, butterfly kisses over each finger, dancing down until he turns her hand over and presses his lips into the centre of her palm. Her skin vibrates and burns, like his lips have marked her. She's so afraid to move right now - all she wants to do is close her eyes and let the sensation blaze deeply inside her and etch into her bones for eternity.

She feels the strength of his stare reach her and she gathers the confidence to look down. His eyes glow brightly back at her filled with an assured intensity and something else…She feels his hand tighten around hers like he's wanting to keep her rooted and grounded to him. A worried, yet also strangely hopeful, expression falls across his face. "It's you, Katniss. I'm in love with you.

Her mouth gasps open with a splutter. "What?" Blood pounds quickly to her ears and she's not sure if she heard him correctly. It's like her world just froze and came to a standstill and he's the only one that has the universal power to move it forward. Her whole existence lies heavily on what spills from his mouth next.

"It's you," he repeats clearly.

Katniss takes in the significance of his words and she swears something inside her begins to shift, like a heavy weight in her chest is clearing and making room for something bigger, something more spectacular. She feels her body come to life, like every neuron is sparking and generating her system, starting from the base of her feet and travelling up to the tips of her fingers. His announcement has made her speechless, incapable of anything but looking like a gaping fish. But as time moves forward with only the sound of the crackling fire filling the deepening silence, she soon realises his optimistic joy is disappearing and is being replaced by a look of horror and distress.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," he begins to stutter out in a rush. "I shouldn't have said anything – shit! –ah – umm…you obviously don't feel the same way…please don't be mad. I'm sure you're disgusted with me right now - that you think I'm a pervert but I –"

She knows she's not good with words, so there's no point in trying to get something out that resembles the English language, so instead she throws caution to the wind and leans forward, cutting him off mid-sentence and locking her lips with his. He takes a few moments to gather his thoughts to realise what's happening, but soon his body responds like it's second nature. He wraps his strong arms around her waist with a loud groan and pulls her closer to the warmth of his body as he reciprocates the kiss.

It's tentative at first, each of them slowly exploring the other before he takes the lead and opens his mouth. She feels his tongue gently coax hers to join him and after that she's a goner. Wrapped up in their own little world, they discover new territory, where their confidence grows and their kisses become more adventurous. She tastes the liquor that's infused on his tongue from earlier, but instead of being repulsed, she moans happily, basking in the flavour. Without breaking stride she crawls into his lap, settling her hands at the base of his neck, and tries to shift her body as close to him as humanly possibility.

"Yes," he whispers with encouragement, crushing their hips and chests together. He weaves his fingers through her hair, pulling and tugging on the roots, while sucking on her bottom lip. In response Katniss feels her nipples tighten and pucker against the hard lines of his chest. His body and scent is both familiar and new and it's more than she could have ever hoped for or imagined.

"Oh, Peeta," she gasps, before sliding against his mouth again, each kiss becoming hotter and wetter.

He groans. "I love how you say my name," he says, coming up for air and breathing hotly against her mouth. "I've dreamt about this for fucking years. Please tell me this is real?"

"It's very real. And I have too," she reveals panting.

They share a few more hotly placed kisses on each other's mouths before they break apart. Both their chests heave and gasp with exertion as they stare at one another intently - not quite believing what's just happened between them. Before they know it, the tension cracks and they both break out into laughter, wearing goofy grins.

"I can't believe this is happening," Peeta murmurs as the laughter dies down in his throat. His hand reaches up to cup her cheek, and his thumb rubs soothing circles against the flushed skin. His eyes are bright like jewels and Katniss swears she's staring back at two brilliant stars you'd usually find in the night sky.

"Me either," she breathes, still trying to catch her breath. "I had given up – never thought you could…"

"I could – and I have," he whispers resolutely. "But I was afraid what you'd think of me. We have a fifteen year age difference between us and I thought if I told you, you would be disgusted and never want to see me again."

"Never," she whispers reassuringly, placing her hand on his face as well. She uses a finger to outline and graze along his jaw like she's mapping him out. The feel of a bit of scruff underneath her fingertips sparks excitement in her core and a shiver to run down her spine. She thinks he must have felt her body shake as he closes his eyes momentarily and sighs softly.

"I told you earlier that age difference doesn't bother me," she tells him after a moment.

He opens his eyes. "You have no idea how happy I am that you said that," he says.

"How long?" She asks with wondrous curiosity.

He chokes back a laugh, like he's embarrassed and color flushes upon his cheeks. "Umm… a long time - what about you?"

"About a year."

His grin broadens, like he's just seen the sun for the first time and he moves his hands back down to settle on her waist. "I got you beat – five years and growing by the day."

"You've had a _thing_ for me since we met?" She asks in amazement. She can't believe she never noticed or had any inkling about his feelings for her before this time. Maybe she was too wrapped up in her own emotions and believing they didn't stand a chance to notice. The word brainless comes to her mind to describe her obliviousness.

"There's that word again – _thing_ ," he laughs wholeheartedly, his body shaking underneath her. "God, I love you. You have no idea the effect you have on me."

"I guess I don't," she answers carefully, her voice raspy. "But I think I'm beginning to." Swallowing her inexperience and the unknown, she daringly grinds her hips down onto his, her centre seeking out his hardness that's been growing stiffer by the second, ever since she crawled into his lap.

He groans loudly, his fingers digging deep into her flesh as he bucks up against her. "Fuck, Katniss. Are we really going to do this? Are we together now?"

"Together," she nods in confirmation. "I've waited so long for this – I don't want to waste any more time."

"Me either," he voices out roughly and to prove his point, he begins to nibble on her ear, before ghosting down to suck hard on the pulse point of her neck. With a strangled groan she tips her head back to give him better access and is amazed to feel more wetness leaking and gathering at the bottom of her underwear. Their lower bodies continue to dance and grind against the other, each of them building upon the rhythm.

She feels her body becoming overloaded with stimuli, but that doesn't stop her from wanting more. His lips travel back up and meet hers again in a wet, toe curling kiss.

"Peeta, I want…I need you to…" Her voice keeps getting cut off every time his tongue invades her mouth and she willingly submits.

"Tell me what you need – I'll give you anything," he growls out in between breaths.

"You," she gasps, breaking away from him to suck oxygen back into her lungs.

"You have me. Be more specific."

"Can we do _it_?" She blurts out, not exactly thinking what word she's just used to describe what she's after, until she feels his lower body stop its ministrations and his chest start to vibrate and rumble against hers.

His face looks flushed and deliriously bright, and his top teeth dig into his bottom lip, like he's trying really hard not to burst out into laughter. " _Do it?_ " He asks incredulously.

"Don't make fun of me, you know what I mean," she defends, getting annoyed, although that doesn't stop her from rotating her hips trying to encourage him to move.

"I'm not – I'm just…it's…" He can't help himself and breaks out into loud, throaty chuckles.

Instead of letting embarrassment about the situation deter her, it makes her feel braver and more determined than ever to prove to him that she's not pure – that she can be dirty. She leans her head forward, just inches from his face, staring into his eyes so he knows she means every word. "I want to fuck," she whispers intently, mouthing each word slowly. His laughter abruptly halts and he looks like he's just been jolted wide awake. "I want you to take your hard cock and fuck me with it. Do you think you can you do that?" _Holy shit where did that come from?_

His jaw goes rigid and she swears an animalistic growl reverberates at the back of his throat. "You want my cock? Right here, right now?" He confirms roughly, pushing his dick up into her sharply, the outline of it more prominent than ever under his thin sweats.

"Yes. I need you." And before she can think about it and back out, she climbs out of his lap, getting up onto her feet and beginning to strip off her clothes. Peeta remains motionless, staring wide eyed as her sweater and jeans end up on the floor, leaving her to stand in nothing but a mismatched bra and panties. He blinks a few times, like he's trying to convince himself he's not dreaming. She goes to reach for the front clasp of her bra before he quickly stands up, placing his hands on top of hers.

"Wait! Jesus," he stammers out, looking down at her now that he's only inches away from her. With keen and lustful eyes he takes in every swell and curve of her body like she's a divine masterpiece on display. "I want you so badly – _shit_ I think I'm about to bust a nut just looking at you," he breathes out gruffly. "But do you think we should talk about us for a minute first?"

Still feeling empowered and bold, she gives him a small smile and shakes her head. She knows that now they've confessed their feelings to one another, sex would eventually happen between them anyway. And she wants it to be tonight – it is his birthday after all. "Later. We can talk later – I want you and you want me and no one is getting any younger here," she teases.

This causes his lips to curl up into a smirk. "Ha ha," he replies, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her closer for another kiss – this one is sweet and gentle like he's taking his time to relish the taste and crevice of her mouth in order to burn it into his memory forever.

She places her hands in between them and slowly unclips her bra, letting it fall to the floor by their feet. Without a word both their hands move down to help her out of her panties and the cotton material joins the rest of her clothing. She stands there completely naked, feeling vulnerable for what feels like an eternity, as Peeta's heated gaze lingers and inspects every inch of her. Her arms start to shake lightly by her sides, but the air in the room is so warm that she knows she's not reacting to the cold. The nerves and the realisation about what they're going to embark on show themselves in the light of the fire. She wants this – she's dreamt about this – but she has no idea what she's doing.

Luckily Peeta seems to know what to do as his strong hands find purchase on her body and begin travelling and exploring like they're on a once in a lifetime expedition. She wants him to take the lead and with every touch and growl she hears from his chest, she knows he's doing just that. The thought makes all her muscles in her body calm down and relax.

"You're gorgeous," he whispers cupping and massaging both her breasts, his calloused hands causing an excited jolt to run down her spine. "Your breasts are perfect, better than I could have ever imagined."

Even though she's never thought her breasts were anything special, knowing that Peeta likes them gives her a huge ego boost. She really thought by now they'd be going full pelt and humping each other like rabbits, but instead Peeta seems to be wanting to take his time. He's now leaning down in front of her, his mouth sucking leisurely on one of her dusky nipples, while his hands move in identical patterns, touching and caressing her board-flat stomach, before travelling around to grab and knead her ass. It makes her head tip back with a heavenly sigh and she grabs his shoulders for support.

After a few minutes, he removes his mouth from her other breast with a wet pop, a satisfied smile on his lips as he ghosts down the valley of her breasts, falling to his knees and skimming past her belly button, starting to place wet kisses on top of her thighs and around her heated core. His bit of stubble tickles and she can't help but squirm, his grip on her ass however stays firm and strong.

Overcome with the sensations he's making her feel, she doesn't think anything about her lack of sexual experience until she hears him choke out an unruly growl and feels one of his fingers prodding at her opening, circling some of her wetness around her pussy.

"Peeta! Wait, I ah – I need to tell you something."

He stops quickly, removing his hand and looking up at her with a heated smile that has a little touch of sweetness to it. A lock of blonde hair falls into his eyes and Katniss reaches down to brush it away gently. "It's okay if you've changed your mind," he tells her sincerely. "We don't have to do anything yet – I know this is happening a little fast."

"No, it's not that," she says, her mouth starting to feel dry. "It's just you should know…ah, what I mean is – you were right about me - I am pure."

"Katniss, I didn't mean –"

"I'm a virgin." Her declaration rings in the air, echoing against every wall in the room and she feels herself turning bright red. He looks at her flabbergasted, like the air has left his lungs and it makes her feel small and unworldly. "Does that bother you?"

He slowly climbs to his feet, clasping both her hands and looking down at her carefully, like he's staring into a new and wondrous reality. He licks his lips and his mouth curls into a smirk. "That would have to be the hottest thing I've ever heard."

His words give her life and she feels her heart lift. She shouldn't have been surprised though – this is Peeta, one of the kindest people she's ever met.

"I'm so incredibly turned on right now - more than I was earlier and that's saying something," he remarks, cupping the back of her neck, and accidentally tugging on some of her hair. "I don't think I've ever been this hard in my life."

"Really?"

"Fuck, really. But…I just don't understand how you could still be…"

"I wanted it to be with the right person – with you."

He leans his forehead down onto hers, breathing her in and everything she's said. "That's so sexy. I promise I'll be gentle – I'm going to take such good care of you," he murmurs, kissing the bridge of her nose. "Will you allow it?"

She nods her head, breaking away. "I'll allow it. But just so you know, you don't have to be _that_ gentle," she says, trying to act seductive.

Her feeble attempt works as Peeta lets out a wild and painful groan. "You, Miss Everdeen, are going to be the death of me."

And with that sentiment there isn't much else that needs to be said. With electricity crackling in the air between them he tells her to lie down on the couch, while he strips off all his clothes. She lays down on her back, her nerves buzzing with excitement as she spreads her legs wide open for him so he can get a good look at her. In a nanosecond he's leaning over her on all fours, and looking down at her with a feral smile, his arms shaking slightly out of nervousness. She then realises that tonight is not just a big deal for her, but for him as well. He's wanted this for a long time, much longer then she has, and now that they're about to step over that line of friendship and into something bigger and life changing - she just hopes she doesn't disappoint him.

"Turn off that brain of yours," he tells her, lightly tapping his finger on her forehead. She swears sometimes he can read her like a book.

"Sorry," she whispers as she forces herself to forget all conscious thoughts and instead lets her eyes roam and admire his muscular physique; she always thought he had an amazing body, if he's not at work or hanging out with her, he's down at the recreation centre teaching children and adults how to wrestle. Even though his knee – injured years ago - can play up every now and again, he still competes in a couple of competitions a year, so he tries to stay healthy and fit as he can. And now that he's looming over her, she can't resist reaching out and touching every line and hard muscle on his awaiting flesh. Unavoidable, her eyes drift down to his cock, which is red, hard and straight as an arrow, and it's pointing directly at her stomach. Feeling a little hesitant as she's never seen one up close and aroused before, she lowers her hand and touches him lightly. He lets out a hiss, and she quickly pulls her hand away. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No," he replies through clenched teeth. "Felt so good. You can touch me again if you want."

For a few minutes she becomes acquainted with his cock; experimenting with gripping and rubbing his girth back and forth as Peeta lets out delighted groans every time she touches his sensitive flesh. Fluid leaks from the tip, and she's fascinated by the way his skin feels so soft like it's made of velvet, but at the same time it's hard as a rock. She has no idea how something so big and intimidating is going to fit deep inside her. But just seeing how Peeta's reacting to her ministrations, it causes heat to pool in her belly and more of her desire to slicken her inner thighs. Offhandedly she wonders if she's leaving a small puddle on his couch

"Now, Peeta, please – I'm ready."

Regretfully, he moves her hand off his cock. "That's probably a good idea. If you keep doing that I'm going to come right in your hand and I don't want that."

"I'm on the pill," she blurts out. "And I'm clean...obviously."

He nods. "Yeah same – and it's been quite a while since I've been with anyone."

"Okay. Umm…and if you wanted to - you can come inside me," she tells him shyly.

Her words spur him into action, making him catch her mouth furiously as he licks the seam of the plump flesh and prodding his tongue inside to chase and dance with hers. He breaks away and looks down on her with awe. "I've dreamt about this moment for so long. I want to treasure it, make it last, but with you lying here like this and telling me all these things - I don't think I can."

"Then don't," she whispers, bucking her hips upwards, her wet, heated core grazing along the head of his cock.

He moves his fingers down to her pussy and sinks a tentative digit in to test how ready she is. He gasps loudly in surprise. "Shit, you're so wet. Is that because of me? Did I make you this wet?

She nods. "You always make me wet. That time I saw you half naked, I had to walk around in drenched panties for the rest of the day."

A long, winded groan thunders from his throat, and he drops his head onto her chest like he's being tortured. "If I had known that I would have pulled you into my office and fucked you right there on my desk."

"How about you fuck me on your couch? Show me how good it can be."

"Oh, don't worry I will," he replies, his eyes gleaming determinedly. He finds her clit and swirls his fingers around in tight, easy circles, gathering more moisture from her core as Katniss lets out small, appreciative moans. He pushes a finger inside and both seem amazed that even though she's a virgin, it slips in easily enough. Keeping to a languid pace he continues pumping his finger in and out, like he's burning to memory every sound and shudder from her body. It's not until he inserts three fingers that her body tenses up.

She tells herself to relax and take a couple of deep breathes. His thumb begins to swirl on her sensitive clit again and it's just what she needs. Feeling full, her hips rise up and down on his fingers slowly, before her pace increases rapidly. Her back arches and she closes her eyes when she starts to feel a tightening sensation in her lower belly. "Peeta – I think I'm…"

"Yes!" he encourages huskily, his head now buried in the nape of her neck, his warm breath fanning her ear. "You're about to come aren't you? I want you to come hard on my fingers."

It takes just one more swipe on her swollen clit and she's gone – flying over the edge, waves of bliss crushing through her body making her shake and pulse. As she falls back down to earth, she sucks oxygen back into her lungs, her naked chest heaving with exertion. She's never felt more satisfied in her life. She vaguely becomes aware of her surroundings when she feels Peeta's mouth peppering light kisses on the side of her neck, murmuring against her sweaty skin. "That was so hot."

She can't help the beaming smile that crosses her face when he sits up on his haunches and looks down on her, his eyes glowing with love and pride. The euphoric and boneless feeling settling within her body is unfamiliar, but it's a welcomed one and she can't wait to experience it again. "I want to feel you, Peeta," she whispers.

Wordlessly, and with a tiny glint in his eyes, he grips himself in hand and begins stroking up and down on his rock hard flesh. Dipping inside her opening, a couple of his fingers gather some of her moisture and begin spreading it all over his member. The act makes her gasp.

"I want to try and make it as painless as possible," he explains. "We'll go slowly okay? Just try and relax."

She nods, but still feels her body tense up.

He lays down on top of her, his frame covering her entire body as his arms hold up most of his weight. He searches her face for a few moments, trying to read her, before he smiles and says. "Can I put my _thing_ in you now?"

His words have the desired effect as it causes her to snort and burst out into fits of laughter. He joins in and with every shake and rumble from their chests, the nervousness and tension between them drifts away. He gives her a wink, "There's my girl."

She nods. "I'm ready."

He leans down to kiss her gently, his tongue caressing hers as he brings the head of his cock to her entrance, pushing in slowly at first, before pulling out and slowly thrusting back in again. The sensation causes her to hold her breath, before whimpering out a tiny, "Oh."

"You alright?" He asks, his voice sounding low and strained.

She gives herself a few moments to adjust before replying. "Yeah, keep going."

He continues pushing in gently, his large girth stretching her, soon becoming encased by her impossibly tight walls. Her body feels full and it's a strange feeling, but she knows she'll get used to – will eventually even crave it.

He pauses once he hits some resistance, his eyes wide and dilated, searching her face for any change in her decision.

"Just do it," she gasps, gripping his shoulders tightly, her nails digging into the skin.

With a nod he plunges into her depths using one forceful thrust and she lets out a tiny shriek not entirely sure what to expect. It doesn't hurt, just a pinch, like a dull, burning throb is radiating from her core. Above her, Peeta groans loudly, his head tipped up towards the ceiling and his mouth agape. She's mesmerised by this new and erotic side of him and she suddenly feels powerful.

"I'm okay, keep going," she assures him, squeezing his bicep.

Biting on his lower lip, with scrunched up eyes, he nods his head in reply. Pulling out, he thrusts back in again…and again, each time becoming easier as his cock glides through her slickened walls.

Katniss wraps her arms around his neck and his mouth finds hers again. She can't help but let out soft sigh and mewls every time he pushes back into her. Soon, she travels her hands down to his waist, gripping the taut skin to pull him in closer.

Peeta responds with a loud groan against her lips, breathing her in as his mouth hovers above hers. He picks up the pace, thrusting into her harder. "Is this ok? I'm not hurting you am I?"

"No, it feels really good now - keep going," she sighs and tilts her head back.

"I don't think I'm going to last much longer," he gasps between strides, shifting one of her legs, so it can hang over the crook of his arm. The position allowing him to hit inside her deeper. "You're so tight…it's been so long…and it's you. _Finally_."

With her hands still linked around his neck she begins tugging on the end of his hair, she feels like she's being possessed; the sensations inside her building with a dull intensity, like she's sitting in the middle of a strong ocean current, getting pushed and pulled and all she can do is go with the flow and take it. She wraps her other leg around his waist, basking in and relishing everything he has to give her.

Before she knows it she can feel his hand positioned in between their sweaty and writhing bodies, with two fingers seeking out her clit. She squeals out in delight when he finds it and he uses the calloused pads of his fingers to rub small, fast circles into the sensitive bud. He groans loudly in her ear, his other hand gripping the end of the couch to support his movements.

"You're pussy's so sweet around my cock – but I need you to come - I'm so close," he tells her, biting down on her shoulder.

And that's all it takes to push her over the edge. She cries out, her grip on his dishevelled hair tightening as she shakes and explodes around him. He snaps into her one, two, three more times before he pushes to the hilt and stills before he shudders out his release.

She swears she feels his warmth flood inside her as she comes down from her high, his sweaty body pressing down into hers, both totally spent. She rubs his back, her eyes still closed as they try to catch their breath.

He pulls out of her carefully with a small hiss, before he moves around and settles behind her. With their bodies lying contently side by side and their feet entwined together, he wraps an arm around her waist securely. They look out, staring into the fire in comforting silence, both watching as it dims to soft embers, basking in their afterglow.

"You love me? Real or not real?" Peeta whispers in her ear.

She rolls herself over to face him, her hand reaching up to cup his face. "Real," she answers with a shy smile.

He leans down to meet her lips in a chaste kiss. "How do you feel?"

"A bit sore, but that was amazing," she shares, her head seeking the crook of his arm to rest against him. "I had no idea it could be like that."

"It was fucking fantastic," he emphasises, the smile evident in his voice. "It's like a genie has granted me my birthday wish." He pulls her tight to his chest with a sigh. "I can't wait to fuck you again."

"Mmm, me either," she agrees, feeling like her face might break due to how happy she is. "Do you reckon you could go again right now?"

He laughs. "Ah…well I'm not as young as I used to be," he jokes, looking down at his groin. "So I might need a bit more time to recover – you really took it out of me. Besides I think we should give your… _thing_ down there a break," he muses cheekily.

Katniss groans. "You're never going to let me live that down are you?"

He kisses the top of her head. "Nope – besides I like that you still have that pure side to you – it's a huge turn on."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a horny pervert Mr Mellark?" She jokes, lifting her head up to kiss him, their tongues dancing languidly together, before she breaks away turning in his arms so her back is against his chest again. She snuggles into his warmth, enjoying the weight of his body against her. Darting her eyes down, she notices something glimmering on the carpet. "Oh hey, you forgot to open the rest of your present," she tells him, sitting up and leaning over the side to grasp the gold envelope.

Both of them sit themselves up on the couch, both still gloriously naked as they sit side by side as she hands him her gift.

"You've already given me your gift - nothing is going to beat being inside you," he states matter-of-factly. But he still looks pleased all the same, taking the envelope and ripping it open.

He unfolds the piece of paper inside, taking a few moments to realise what he's looking at.

"You got me a trip to the Capitol," he splutters out. "That was on the top of my list...how did you…" he trails off, shaking his head in wonder. He continues reading through the rest of the papers. "Oh my god, you paid for my flights _and_ accommodation and…what's this?" He asks noticing something is stapled to the paper. His eyes widen as big as saucers. "You got me a VIP ticket to Cinna and Cressida's art show?! Oh, Katniss, this is just…" He looks at her with pure surprise and elation, like he can't believe someone went to so much trouble.

"So I did good?" She teases, knocking his shoulder playfully.

"Good would be an understatement. Come here," he urges pulling her in for a kiss, his hand holding the back of her head firmly. Breaking away, he murmurs, "This would have cost a fortune – I don't know if I can accept it."

She scowls. "You're taking it, no arguments. Besides look at it this way – you get to tick something off your list," she says proudly.

He looks back down at the treasured gift in his hand, looking torn.

"Look, seriously you don't need to worry about the money – I've been working a lot of overtime lately and my boss pays well."

Sneaking her a sideways glance he asks, "So do you still think your boss is a jerk?"

She leans in, wrapping one arm around his back, while she places a soft kiss on his cheek. "A big one," she confirms, her eyes twinkling. "Just because I'm in love with you doesn't mean I still don't think you're a jerk."

He chuckles. "How am I a jerk? You were the one who wanted the overtime, Everdeen. I was just being a considerate boss."

"I didn't want overtime on your birthday though! I wanted to spend it with you."

"Yes, I know. But after what you witnessed earlier tonight I think you can now understand why I made you do it," he states.

"Yeah, you say that, but I think subconsciously you still wanted me here," she tells him, her tone turning flirtatious. "You knew I wouldn't check my Facebook."

"No comment," he mutters, turning away to avoid her gaze, but she still sees a small smile grace his features, before turning back around to catch her eye. "So should I put you down for more overtime?" He asks.

"Only in your office, after everybody has gone home," she says boldly. "I'd be happy to be compensated for my time in other ways."

He grins wolfishly, pulling her into his lap and tugging her against him so her breasts lie flat against his chest. "Mr Mellark will see what he can do," he whispers huskily, capturing her lips with his for a searing kiss, that's filled with promises of tomorrow and always.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know what you thought either on here or you can visit me on tumblr: peetaspikelets. Be on the lookout I'll be posting two new everlark stories over the next couple of months.


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